That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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