I faked an abortion last night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize