He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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