you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
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Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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