you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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