Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How does it feel to date your dad?
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