the condom got lost in my hair
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
These tits shall not be calmed
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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