Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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