if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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