This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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