he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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