dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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