I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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