the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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