When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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