Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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