I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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