thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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