Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize