I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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