found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
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Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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