I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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