Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
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He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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