I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize