is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize