Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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