this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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