Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize