time to smoke my breakfast
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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