I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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