Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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