I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize