There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize