we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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