the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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