marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm lost and stupid without you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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