you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize