Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize