I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
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That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
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Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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