I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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