Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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