ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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