That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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