sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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