Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize