When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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