he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize