i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize