i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize