the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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